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Archive for April, 2009

Happy Day After April Fool’s Day!

A Wee Bit Of Clarification On Yesterday’s Noizeletter…

Dear Everybuddy,

To those who haven’t already figured it out… Happy April Fool’s Day yesterday!

I have just been informed that all the stuff I wrote yesterday in my April 1st Noizeletter is false, that the screen test photo was actually a photo of me and a Troy Bolton cardboard cutout I got at Blockbuster for $4.99 (look closely and you can see the cardboard stand behind him), and the song I recorded is actually not going to be used in High School Musical 4. Sorry about that! My bad. I’m really embarrassed about the whole thing. In fact, I have also learned from several sources that the same thing happened last April 1st, when I claimed I had been selected to join The Wiggles. Again my apologies. I just don’t know how I seem to get these things confused. It all seems so real to me.

The truth is, I am apparently not in High School Musical 4. I was auditioning for the inspirational part of the teenage disabled Asian Varsity Football playing girl from a two-mommy home (they were trying to cover all their remaining target demographics that were missing from HSM 1-3 with the addition of one final character), and through some undisclosed form of thinly veiled discrimination, I didn’t get the part. So that was that.

Many of you wisecrackers who remembered last year’s April 1st Noizeletter called my bluff this year. And, of course, many of you beautiful dreamers didn’t. My special love goes to that solid group of you who have now believed my delusionary stories of grandeur two years in a row on April 1st — you know who you are, and I do too, because a lot of you emailed me your congratulations again this year. Your belief in me is stunning, and you should perhaps see a specialist about it. I hope you still love me; I certainly still love you.

For those with XM Radio… You may have heard me on XM Kids Radio yesterday. XM Kids Program Director, Absolutely Mindy, called me live on her nationally broadcast show yesterday to assist me in perpetrating this little hoax to a nationwide audience. People like Mindy do not come around very often; when they do they are generally institutionalized. I love Mindy so much — she is like those legendary DJ’s in the early days of rock radio with an unerring sense of fun who played and said whatever they liked on air. Mindy is planning to play my fake High School Musical 4 track Follow Your Dreams on air a few times in the next week. This is because she is Absolutely Crazy. So listen for it! Her show is great.

As noted last year: Everything I write to you on every day except April 1st each year will be peppered with humor but rooted in truth. But you are all fair game on April 1st. And if you haven’t already, please do go enjoy two minutes of bliss as you listen to my fake High School Musical 4 song Follow Your Dreams — I dare you to find a lyrical or musical concept in this epic song that is not a made-for-TV teen movie cliché. If I may quote the song’s incredibly inspirational climactic lyric:

Don’t have to run,
Don’t have to hide the you that’s blossoming inside…
Just have to follow your dreams.

Now please do excuse me as I go get a tissue to wipe the tear blossoming in my eye….

Cheers and talk to you next month!

Yer buddy for life,

Doctor Noize

Doctor Noize Cast In High School Musical 4!

Super Spring Surprise Noizeletter!

Okay, let’s get straight to the rumors I have been denying to so many of you for the last month…

1) Web Rumors & My Incredibly Sneaky Discipline!

Several of you web media savvy fans have been emailing me about the rumors that have been surrounding me and High School Musical 4 for the last few weeks. It has been very difficult for me, as I have a lot of trouble keeping my mouth shut about exciting news, but I have exercised my discipline for once and emailed you all back with the standard “those are just web rumors” denial emails. Well, I don’t need to practice restraint any more, as today I have just received word from my agent that I can make it official…

2) Doctor Noize Cast In High School Musical 4!

You read that right: I have officially been cast in High School Musical 4 as the rockin’ music teacher! This is big news for me and my so-called acting career. And no, I do not really consider myself an actor. So here’s how it happened: The daughter of one of the HSM4 producers is apparently a big Dr. Noize fan. She was 7 when The Ballad Of Phineas McBoof came out, heard Banana on XM Kids Radio, and convinced her dad to buy the CD. A few years later, she’s now approaching 10 and in the coveted “tween” years targeted by the High School Musical franchise. Anyway, the story goes that she said to her dad: “You should cast Dr. Noize as the rockin’ music teacher!”

It’s funny how our little ones can make a huge impact on our career decisions. The story at Disney is that — instead of the expected “that’s ridiculous” response — this young lady’s father immediately saw the brilliance, fun and dollar signs in her wild idea. The thinking was this: There are a lot of kids younger than 10 who are now Dr. Noize fans, thanks largely to XM and the expanded touring I’m doing. But like this producer’s daughter, they are getting older fast, and will form the core of the tween market for the upcoming High School Musical 4, 5 and 6 trilogy. And they would all get a nostalgic kick out of seeing Dr. Noize play the role of the school’s new rock and roll music teacher.

3) My Teaching Past Secures The Gig!

So here’s the funniestest thing (is funniestest a word?): The other HSM4 producers had barely heard of me and were concerned about casting a non-actor in the role. So they did some digging into my past, including my old Cory Cullinan website, and found out that it would basically not be acting for me: In my previous career I was, in fact, the rocking, award winning high school music teacher. So they said fine, bring this Noizy guy in for a screen test and just tell him to be himself, and we’ll see what we get. Rumors first started swirling when I had to cancel a show in Denver last month for a screen test in LA, which somebody mentioned in some obscure Hollywood blog that was promptly removed from the web. But I was absolutely certain I would not get the part, which is one of the many reasons why I was able to deny the rumors to all of you who contacted about them. And the funny thing is the producers said that is in large part why I got the part — apparently I was so loose and natural that I didn’t seem like I was acting, which of course I wasn’t. And to top it all off…

4) They Even Gave Me A Song!!!

In the first three High School Musical movies, none of the adults got a song. Only the kids. But I was given the opportunity to write a little song with the HSM4 composers for the music teacher to sing as long as it was under 2 minutes long — and it’s looking like the song and scene have made it into the final script! I’ve been given permission to release the demo we made of the song for a little viral marketing: It’s called Follow Your Dreams and here it is!

5) Madison From LA Is Noizemaker Of The Month!

Needless to say, the HSM4 producer’s little girl — Madison from Los Angeles — is Noizemaker Of The Month. And rumor has it that Maddie would like nothing more than to see Dr. Noize rocking out with Troy Bolton. So here’s a, um, brand new picture from my screen test… Everybody knows that Troy Bolton (played by Zac Efron) has graduated and will no longer be in high school for HSM 4-6. But I have one word for you that I have been given permission to float: cameo. That’s all I’m saying.

I’m excited because my girls love the High School Musical movies. Truth be told, I’m a fan too… The HSM movies have almost singlehandedly brought the movie musical back, and savvy listeners have noticed that my Dr. Noize recordings (The Ballad of Phineas McBoof and its upcoming sequel, The Return Of Phineas McBoof ) are actually more like works of musical theater than rock albums. But fear not… Doctor Noize will continue on as before, although I may have to take some time off touring during the year for HSM4 concerts and events. But that’s not so bad, right? I hope you’re as excited as I am and sorry I had to wait so long to confirm the news!

Love yer buddy for life,

Doctor Noize

P.S. Don’t worry, there won’t be any questionable teacher/student dynamics in this movie like in “Mr. Holland’s Opus.” Yuck!
P.P.S. To remove yourself from this mailing list, respond with the words “Troy Bolton Ain’t My Bag, Baby.”

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