Doctor Noize

Welcome to the Independence Day Noizeletter! In the spirit of independence, here are this month’s Top Five Noizy Thingz dedicated to rugged individualists…

1) Download The New Doctor Noize Song For Free!

I was inspired by a fantastic teacher named Theresa Vayle to write a new song with a banana bunch of cool kids. My inspiration is summarized thusly (did I just write “thusly?”): Ms. Theresa is supercool. Theresa teaches my action/adventure superhero daughter Sidney three days a week. Sidney and her friends are heading on to kindergarten this year. A parent secretly suggested a party honoring Ms. Theresa, and the consensus was unanimous: Ms. Theresa rocks, baby. That meant one thing: Somebody needed to write a song about Ms. Theresa and the incredibly joyous and positive impact great teachers like her make on kids. The kids and I were all about that task. I played the instruments and mixed the song; the kids and I performed vocals. Enjoy Supercool Ms. Theresa!

2) Ms. Theresa Is The Noizemaker Of The Month!

Needless to say, Ms. Theresa is July’s Noizemaker Of The Month. So last month’s Doctor Noize Giving Back show was at the Creme de la Creme school in Lone Tree, CO at the party for her. She is a rugged individualist with her own absolutely unique and creative style, and an honorary member of The International Band Of Misunderstood Geniuses. My daughter comes home from school pumped up about all the learning, dancing, singing, curiosity and love that Ms. Theresa has instilled in her. Do you instill those qualities in others? If not, take a page from Ms. Theresa’s book and start today. Thanks Ms. Theresa!

3) Join The Noize Team!

Things are growing. It’s time for Doctor Noize to regain his independence and get to work producing The Return Of Phineas McBoof. So not unlike John McCain’s political team, it’s time for the annual shakeup. Pictoria Records’ Booking & Sales (B.S.) Director Cory Cullinan is being mercilessly fired. To let him down easy, we’re saying he’s been “reassigned.” He’ll be the new President & Marketing Director; The Bethinator is the PR Director; and You can be the new Booking & Sales Director. (Perhaps Bill Clinton is available for this position? He did so well selling Hillary.) Wanna join the Noize Team? You’ll be responsible for introducing new kids and families to fun, mind-expanding experiences; you’ll earn an above-industry-average percentage; and in the spirit of friendship and family that has always been the basis of this venture, you’ll stay part of the winning team as earnings continue to rapidly increase. The Booking & Sales Director will be hired this month; if you’re ready for some fun and purpose to go along with your income, contact now!

4) Proclaim Your Misunderstood Genius!

Even those who aren’t destined to join the Noize Team as the new B.S. Director can now officially join the International Band Of Misunderstood Genuises with the brand spankin’ new “I’m With The Band” line of clothing and merchandize. Specially designed by Doctor Noize artist extraordinaire Christian Lowe, it’s a fun and philosophical statement to everyone you meet.

5) I Love You!

Have I made that clear? Good. To prove it, here’s a funny story if you’re looking for laughs at my expense.

Thanks for yer support from yer buddy for life,

Doctor Noize

P.S. You can stop receiving the Noizeletter by responding with: “Ms. Theresa’s hot… You’re not!”
P.P.S. Don’t worry about saying this to me, because I’m rubber and you’re glue.