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Archive for May, 2008

Kaia’s Education Fund

Those who have read this month’s Noizeletter know that a lot of it surrounds a beautiful little three-year-old Noizemaker named Kaia Emery, and how she and her father Brian have inspired me. You can read details here about the Benefit Concert for Kaia Emery, and my thoughts on Kaia’s mother’s unexpected passing in this entry in my Scenes From Fatherhood blog.

If you are inspired by Kaia and Brian as I am, and want to send a little something — ten dollars, ten thousand dollars, whatever floats your boat, Daddio — to Kaia’s education fund, you can send it directly to this address:

Stanford Credit Union
P.O. Box 10690
Palo Alto, CA 94303-0843

Checks should be made payable to Brian Emery with reference to sub-account “Syouthsub1.”

If money is not in the cards… then, in Kaia’s honor, just do something nice for a friend today. Nice is good. Everybuddy wins. Pass it on.

Pictoria Records Fake Press Release:
New Wiggle Kicked Out Before First Concert

Note to Everybuddy…

By popular demand, I have composed a fictitious press release below that brings tidy closure to all the false rumors swirling around about the breakup of The Wiggles and Doctor Noize’s incorporation into their band. For those whose focus deviates at the sight of long and/or multisyllabic words, let me be even more straightforward: Fictitious means false. Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

Saccharine Bay, Australia… Cory Cullinan, the much-ballyhooed “American Wiggle,” has been dismissed before performing his first concert with the band. Insiders report that in his very first closed-doors rehearsal as the new Wiggle, Cullinan hit a wrong note and muttered a cuss word under his breath (that’s “swear word” for you non-midwesterners). As per The Wiggles’ strict code of ethics both on and offstage, Cullinan was immediately and permanently shown the door. “Man, those guys are square,” was all he remarked to throngs of reporters as he left the Wiggles compound. In related and symbiotic news, recent ex-Wiggle Murray has rejoined his mates after a brief stint with his pet project. It seems the Bootie Cuties weren’t pulling in $50 million a year and Murray regained his senses. So all is now back to normal in the family music world, with both The Wiggles and Doctor Noize moving forward with their tours as previously planned. The show, as they say, must go on. — AP Wire Services

So that’s that. End of story. But if you’d like to hear about all the things that really did happen during my week as a Wiggle, click here.

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