Doctor Noize

Welcome to the October Noizeletter!

What, you got a problem receiving the October Noizeletter in mid-November? Talk to management. They will give you a complaint form to fill out. (Note: There is no “deliver to” address on the form.) Things have been very busy. Here are this month’s Top Five Noizy Thingz…

1) Holiday Gift Packs!

Well, there are window decorations all over my local Target wishing me a Merry Christmas!, and the nearby gated communities have decided to shine light on the downtrodden and poor by enlightening the world with their Christmas decoramas even earlier than usual this year.* It’s a wonderful life. (Hey! A hundred bucks to the first company with the mojo to start advertising for Christmas before Halloween in 2010!) In any event, this all reminds me that it is time to get the Holiday Gift Packs up and going again. This year’s gift packs are a Signed Doctor Noize CD and Book for $30 — including gift wrapping and a personalized note. Email Pictoria Creations — including the gift recipients’ names and addresses — and we’ll mail ‘em out well before Christmas.

2) We Raised 2,860 Music Meals!

Dr. Noize went soft and played two Giving Back Showz last month instead of one. Sorry about that. I know, I know, my bizness is not a toy. Whatever. The shows are fun and it felt right. Anyway, at the show in Reno, we rocked the house and raised enough money to buy 2,860 meals for the hungry through the Food Bank of Northern Nevada. Golly Beav, those meals must be even more nutritious and cost-effective than Costco pizza. While in town I got to tape a few segments for the NBC Reno affiliate. Watch this live performance on KRNV with my new little superstar friend Peyton!** On an interview segment, I informed the NBC anchor that my Reno Giving Back Show was all part of my highly controversial Pro-Eating political platform. That one kind of flew over her head, but, ya know, you never know until you try.

3) California, There I Went…

…is admittedly not as catchy a tune as California, Here I Come. Nonetheless, I was back in the State Of Moving Bridges last weekend to kick off the grand opening of the incredible new $30 million Lafayette Library & Learning Center. I’m assuming they went with hardcovers — that’s a lot of dough for paperbacks. I am actually writing this Noizeletter from a plane on the way back from California. Look up — yeah, that’s me. I’m not intentionally looking down on you. I’m heading home to play a bunch of Colorado shows this month for those near the Rockies!

4) Flying With Phineas?

On the subject of flying… I just received some nice royalty checks for Dr. Noize broadcasts on airlines ranging from Frontier to Jet Blue. Has anybuddy noticed Dr. Noize on their flights? I was not aware of this. I have never noticed Dr. Noize on my flights; except, of course, that I am actually on the flight, and I am Dr. Noize. But you know what I mean. You would think that maybe somebody would have told me my music was on all these airplanes. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. I cashed the checks anyway, without worrying about the overly-analytical and pesky “Why am I being paid this money?“ question that only bean-counters and sissies would ask…) If only all my lack of business awareness could be so lucrative. But if you ever hear Dr. Noize on a flight, please be a dear and let me know.

5) “The Best Newsletter In Kids Music”

I recently learned this Noizeletter has been lauded by Stefan Shepherd in his influential family music blog Zooglobble as “the best newsletter in kids music.” Now, I take issue with this on many levels. First of all, how many children’s music newsletters are there, really? Secondly… The dude completely ignored the release of The Ballad Of Phineas McBoof — but he reviewed my Noizeletter. Isn’t that sort of like publishing reviews of TV Guide capsules? (I must admit I got that TV Guide capsule joke from Stefan himself. That’s right, I’m lampooning the Zooglobble guy with his own joke. It’s complicated.) Stefan has since blogged about my song The Most Annoying Children’s Song Ever. If you haven’t been harassed by this song yet, you should check it out. So Stefan beat out EVERYBUDDY to earn Noizemaker Of The Month. Globble globble on over to Zooglobble this Thanksgiving month and tell him you and the Doc say hi.

Love yer buddy for life,

Doctor Noize

* P.S. I made that word up.
** P.P.S. Astute viewers will note the NBC Reno anchor inadvertently gives away my top secret alter ego live on air. That sort of cr@p never happens to Hannah Montana. Mylie, you listening?

Welcome to the September Noizeletter!

Sorry for the delayed update… It’s the final day of a crazy busy September! Here are this month’s Top Five Noizy Thingz…

1) Spectacular Symphony Showz!

“The symphony concerts we performed with Doctor Noize were spectacular!” said North State Symphony Maestro Kyle Pickett last weekend. “I have never seen kids respond to with so much enthusiasm to a classical music concert.” No, the Maestro’s not on the sauce. Last week opened a new chapter in family concerts: Doctor Noize Symphony Showz. Orchestral versions of Banana and The Ballad Of Phineas McBoof. A concert hall full of kids raising both hands to correctly identify the arrival of Theme 2 during a performance of Beethoven’s 5th. The Maestro ditching his tux pants for board shorts halfway through (don’t ask). Wanna check out my orchestral score for Banana? Here it is. It’s the only known score that calls upon the orchestra to yell: “Eat red meat!” The North State Symphony was incredible at these shows, and it was my honor to play everything from harpsichord to guitar with them. Read these two interview articles from North State Parent Magazine and the Redding Record Searchlight for more on the genesis of these shows. This is only the beginning.

2) A Noizy NBC Morning Show!

Doctor Noize will be giving a live performance and interview October 15th on the NBC 4 Reno morning show. My action/adventure superhero daughters and I will be getting up very early on the road for this, so please get yer booty outta bed and watch it! Then you can fly back home and go back to bed.

3) Big Bay Area Shows!

Big Noize for Bay Area folks in October… I’m playing two shows at the Community School of Music & Arts (CSMA) at Finn Center in Mountain View, CA. The gorgeous performing space, Tateuchi Hall, is one of my favorite venues to play in the country. But you haven’t heard the best part: Both shows are free to the public, courtesy of Target, who is sponsoring the event. (Editor’s Note: My family considers SuperTarget of Lone Tree, CO our home away from home, and not just for the exquisite Pizza Hut ‘n’ Mac ‘n’ Cheese Diner inside.) A donation to CSMA is greatly appreciated but not required. Note this quote from the CSMA website: “Due to event popularity, guests often arrive early to form a line. We do our best to accommodate as many people as possible.” Just like on Oprah.

4) And The Winner Is…

Wanna hear something funny? Listen to the Absolutely Mindy Theme Song I wrote for XM / Sirius Kids Place Live Radio last month. I wrote, played, sang and mixed the whole thing in one goofy afternoon. They played it on air but ultimately chose an entry by Justin Roberts, a rather obscure artist who is not nearly as well known to Dr. Noize’s mother as Dr. Noize is. Justin does not get nearly enough mainstream media attention or credit for his largely inaccessible avante garde family music, so I think I speak for all childrens’ musicians when I say I’m really excited for him that he won this competition. It should be really great for his career. By the way, Justin plays my home base of Denver at the Soiled Dove Underground on October 10th. I recommend you go and ask him to play Dr. Noize’s version of the Absolutely Mindy Theme Song.*

5) Noizemaker Of The Month!

The Noizemaker Of The Month is the great Ned Pickett of Cottonwood, CA. The boy loaned his father out to me this week to conduct the symphony showz. Ned had a tough time managing his family last week, what with his father conducting two family and two adult orchestral concerts to open the season, his grandparents visiting, Dr. Noize in town, a three-week-old younger brother Grant, and a sleep-deprived mother due to the aforementioned Muy Mini Maestro Baby Grant. Still, Ned held the fort down with grace, agility, and the iron fist of discipline. I respect Ned’s respect for rank: No matter how much I got to know Ned last week, he never deigned to call me Cory. It was always Dr. Noize. That’s just how Ned rolls. I am trying to get him to refer to his father as Herr Doctor Maestro Pickett — I’ll keep you posted on that. Plus, Ned knows tractors like nobody’s bizness. Hey Ned! Doctor Noize misses you already. I can’t wait to see you again next year.

Love yer buddy for life,

Doctor Noize

* P.S. Disappointing those who crave Reality TV Controversy, Justin pre-approved my rant and thought it was funny.
* P.P.S. That’s because I have video of Justin performing Rick Astley covers.

Welcome to the August Noizeletter! Time for the gooderies! (Read on for details…) Here are this month’s Top Five Noizy Thingz…

1) Come to NewWestFest!

Come this weekend to one of my favorite annual festivals: Fort Collins’ great Bohemian Nights at NewWestFest! Melissa Etheridge is the adult stage headliner; Doctor Noize is the Kids Music Adventure headliner. Who do you think will draw more? (Please do not answer that question — in retrospect, it was a poorly conceived rhetorical question that indeed does not shed the best possible light on Doctor Noize or family music in general… Webmaster Weldon, how do I delete that last sentence?) Here’s a good article published today about this amazing free festival, featuring ample quotes from yours truly.

2) And Now… A Moving Grooving Tribute To Funky Frogz!

Hop on over to the free Funky Frogz, a song written and recorded by Doctor Noize and a group of delirious amphibian-loving kids from the tough streets of Salt Lake City. Okay, fine, maybe their life ain’t so tough… but these kids can sing! Listen to that frogtastic mojo, baby. We wrote and recorded this song together in one hour at the Utah Museum Of Natural History. Next year I’ll be back to write a song with the kids about dinosaurs for a brand new exhibit.

3) Locked On Energy!

A big thanks to Utah’s top-ranked afternoon sports talk radio host for recommending my Utah shows to his listeners. Many of you know I’m a sports and fitness fanatic. David Locke, the high energy host of KFAN AM’s Locked On Sports and the Utah Jazz’s play-by-play announcer, may be the only man on the planet who has more things to say per minute than I do… David assesses the most energized athletes in the world for a living and had this to say about Doctor Noize: “Parents — this is a must see. My kids love Dr. Noize. His show is creative and had unreal energy. Make sure you put it on the schedule. You will thank me, I promise. This guy is completely amazing. He is insanely creative. It will be a blast. Trust me, the kids will love it.” And here’s the best part: I’m not even on the ‘roids.

4) Fun With Theme Songz!

XM / Sirius fans — listen to Mindy’s show on Kids Place Live! next week. She asked listeners to submit concepts for an Absolutely Mindy! Theme Song, and a certain professional family musician with the initials “D.N.” could not resist spending a goofy afternoon in the studio trying to make her laugh. So listen next week for my version and the theme songs submitted by other listeners, many of whom are little kids sending in adorable stuff. And no matter what anybuddy says, Mindy does not have off-air heart-to-hearts with her life-size poster of Zac Efron in the studio in between songs. I don’t know where you even heard that, but emailing that to everybuddy you know is definitely how rumors get started.

5) Noizemakers Of The Month!

The Noizemakers Of The Month are my two inspiring and energizing action/adventure superhero daughters, Riley and Sidney — the two main reasons I started this career in the first place. My girls have been to a million Dr. Noize shows but always wanna go to more. Living with them is everything anybuddy could ever want out of life. Here are two sample quotes from them, both from yesterday. Riley (4 years old): “Mommy, can you carry me? I’m not getting any younger.” And Sidney (6 years old): “Daddy, they should call it the goodery store, not the grocery store, because getting healthy food is good for you, not gross.” Sidney and Riley: I love you and you are the bestestest buddies in the world!!!

Love yer buddy for life,

Doctor Noize

P.S. Mommy, can you carry me too? I’m not getting any younger either.
P.P.S. Sidney and I are heading off to the goodery story if you need anything.

Welcome to the July Noizeletter! Many states and more monkeys this month! Here are this month’s Top Five Noizy Thingz…

1) Bay Area, Utah & Colorado Tours This Month!

A wild week this week: Today I play the Rocky Mountain resort town of Keystone. Then it’s Bay Area shows at Yahoo! and the San Jose Children’s Discovery Museum on Friday. Saturday a full show kicks off the grand opening of a brand new Denver metro library. And on August 1st, I invite everybuddy and their cousins to my big show at the Utah Museum of Natural History. (People in Utah have a lot of cousins…) Sign up for my songwriting workshop there to help write a song about frogs for the museum’s Toadally Frogz exhibit. Oh Kermie!!! Oh Piggie. Check out all the links at the Showz page.

2) The Article That Could’ve Been…

Speaking of the Bay Area, here’s a great blog post (with an awesome title) by Rebecca Wallace, Arts & Entertainment Editor of the Palo Alto Weekly. It’s too bad I sent out my High School Musical 4 correction email on April 2nd — otherwise, it sounds like there would’ve been a really great article in the Palo Alto Weekly the following week…

3) Updates Faster Than A NanoMicroSteveJobsTechnoSecond!

Our latest updates go out of date even faster than last month’s iBrains. (Don’t have an iBrain yet? You will.) The Acoustic Loopfest! shows have already been updated to the way totally mondo cooler Doctor Noize Lite! showz — before I even performed an Acoustic Loopfest show. I invested time and money and rethunk my “middle tier” show program to contain almost all of the core elements of the full show in a streamlined format. There’s no saxophone, no electronic drums, and less spectacle. What remains are guitars, keyboards, audience interaction, vocals and computer loop recording galore. All in just two carry-on and two check-in bags. Hail the cutting edge of technology! The bottom line: Venues across the country can now book Dr. Noize for a totally unique but much more affordable touring show. So I expect to make music with more Noizemakers in more places from now on.

4) Mail Chimp Goes Bananas!

So we’ve like totally gone pro and hired a Mail Chimp. You read that right. Here’s a quote from a satisfied customer on MailChimp’s home page: “MailChimp passed a long and detailed list of requirements with flying colors.” Uh, right. MailChimp also passed our stringent requirement list, which consisted of a single question: Is your mascot a monkey? That’s just how we make decisions over here. I mean just look at this great mail monkey! He could totally hang with Phineas. Our Noizeletter template isn’t quite dressed up for the ball yet, but I predict soon we’ll have an email template even better looking than Sarah Palin in retirement fishing boots.* Why? Here’s a Top Secret Peek inside our incredible creative workflow: Webmaster Weldon gets an idea to update something. He does all the brainy work and skillfully manages my fear of change. (Sample dialog that occurs for virtually every single update… Doctor Noize: “But that will be more work for me, right?” Webmaster Weldon: “No.” Noize: “But you really mean yes, right?” Weldon: “No means no.”) So Weldon slaps it up there for the general public. Soon illustrator Christian Lowe can’t stand having his name associated with something so ugly; he succombs to temptation and ignores his real responsibilities to stay up too late and make it perfect. Ultimately Weldon gets his way and I get the benefit. (Editor’s note: Weldon, don’t send this Noizeletter to Christian or he might figure this process out.)

5) Noizemakers Of The Month!

The Noizemakers Of The Month are siblings Kai, Rowan and Jasmine from Highlands Ranch, CO. Jasmine is an expert dancer and made her own Doctor Noize Banana shirt. Kai and Rowan are excellent kazoo techs and — as their T-Shirts demonstrate — are proud members of The International Band Of Misunderstood Geniuses. Thanks Kai, Rowan and Jasmine!

Love yer buddy for life,

Doctor Noize

* P.S. I’ve decided to “shake up children’s music as usual” by stepping down early as Dr. Noize.
* P.P.S. This is because I’m a great point guard, passing the ball on to other family musicians… Oh forget it — I’m still Dr. Noize.