Doctor Noize

Welcome to the August Noizeletter, closing out our biggest summer to date in style. Here are the Top Five Noizy Thingz…

(1) Rare Home Game This Weekend!

I play a rare home game tonight versus the people of Lone Tree, CO. We’re seeking a win/win result — not a tie, which is for sissies and soccer players, but win/win, which is for winners (not to be confused with whiners). We’re closing out the summer with a hometown Dr. Noize concert, followed by a big outdoor screening of my hit song video Welcome To Grammaropolis and a showing of the film Planet 51. I’ve played tours on Planet 51 before — truly otherworldly. At tonight’s show we’re donating 25 signed books to the Lone Tree Youth Commission’s Media Drive for kids at Sky Ridge Medical Center. I also play Boulder this weekend!

(2) Awesome Radio Show & Fall Production!

Check out this super fun radio show I did with my daughters Sidney and Riley! It’s been a wild summer touring and celebrating the formation of the new Dr. Noize Inc. I was invited back to perform Whitewater, WI’s July 4th Weekend just two weeks after my first show there — a record return rate to a tour stop. Clearly the good people of Whitewater have no taste in entertainment. This fall’s tour isn’t as hectic, as we complete production on the first releases from our new multimedia company. And speaking of the new company…

(3) Meet Dr. Noize Inc.’s New Executive Director!

David Kim, Executive Director of Dream Cortex, is the new Executive Director of Dr. Noize Inc. Dave is sort of an underachiever: He is an executive with Sanrio Digital (Hello Kitty) and Turnout Ventures (a joint venture between Outblaze and Turner Asia). Previously, he was the CEO of mail.com and Lycos.com, Managing Director of Softbank and Techpacific Venture Capital, and at age 26 was the youngest CFO of a NASDAQ listed company with China.com. But so what? — I mean, who wasn’t? Can he sing? Actually… yes. Dave and Dr. Noize performed classical music and musical theatre together as students at Stanford, and he is quite gifted and well versed in music. What a jerk.

(4) Meet Dr. Noize Inc.’s New CEO & Creative Director!

Some dude named Cory Cullinan has been named CEO of Dr. Noize Inc. We looked him up — apparently he’s some sort of ex high school music teacher and soccer coach or something. Oddly, he sort of disappears from the public record right around the time Dr. Noize emerges, as if the world wasn’t big enough for the two of ‘em or he hates Dr. Noize’s music so much that he moved to Siberia with that guy from BP. Clearly this is some sort of clerical mistake — you don’t just hand the keys to a multimedia production company with major resources over to someone who’s spent most of his adult life hanging out with kids. We’ll look into this and get back to you.

(5) Noizemakerz Of The Month!

All 8 Action/Adventure Supergirls on Real Colorado Soccer’s U5 Team Unicorns are the Noizemakers Of The Month. The girls are gonna get up onstage with me at tonight’s show and do some serious groovin’. The Unicorns are the most intimidatingly named soccer team ever — trust me, you don’t wanna be playing defense in front of a unicorn when it digs its head down and sprints forward dribbling the soccer ball. Yowza Oucha!!!

Thanks from yer buddy for life,
Doctor Noize

P.S. Check out some nice reviews of Grammaropolis here and here.
P.P.S. Read a swell article about the Show and the new company here.
P.P.P.S. There is no P.P.P.S. That would be overkill.

Welcome to the July Noizeletter — with the most awesomestest newz of Dr. Noize’s career! On to the Top Five Noizy Thingz…

(1) Doctor Noize Signs Dream Partnership!

I’ve just signed a dream partnership with Hong Kong based media, entertainment and technology company Outblaze. Through its subsidiaries and business partnerships, Outblaze has produced a wealth of content, from the Hello Kitty 3D animated videos and online world to online and video games for Ben 10, Tom & Jerry and others. They also create the popular Dream Cortex kids’ mobile apps for iPhone and iPad, and many of their products have gone on to be top sellers. Outblaze has joined with Dr. Noize to form a new company — Doctor Noize Inc. — to expand the Dr. Noize brand for years to come! And no, this is no April Fool’s joke.

(2) What It All Meanz For The Monkey Man…

We’re already at play I mean work developing an expanded line of interactive, edutaining, monkeytastic Dr. Noize productions that include Recordingz, Bookz, 3D Animated Videoz, DVD’z, iPhone Appz, iPad Appz, Merchandize, Online Games, free Educational Content, and annual National Tours to most major US metros and Hong Kong (check for more listings soon). I’m the Creative Director on all productions, so if anything sucks, blame me. I recently spent a week in Hong Kong with the animation and programming team, and 3D models of the characters already exist! This is honestly my creative dream come true.

(3) The New Team!

I suppose now is the time to tell you my other exciting news: I’m joining LeBron James and Dwayne Wade on the Miami Heat. I apologize that I did not schedule an hour of programming on ESPN to relay this information. Oh wait, hold on… I have just been informed that was Chris Bosh, not me. We have similar dunking styles and the casual fan hasn’t heard of either of us, hence the confusion. So scratch that — I am not joining the Miami Heat, but many talented people are joining me at Doctor Noize Inc.! Scroll to the bottom or click to see who’s signed with the New Doctor Noize Inc. Team.

(4) The Noizemakers Of The Year…

…are Adam Bock, Craig Swanson, Coert Voorhees, Janette Cullinan, and Weldon Dodd — my Crack Advisor Squad who’ve spent over six months assessing all Big Noizy Bizness. No known words could properly thank them, so I will follow the example of Shakespeare’s sister Sarah Palin and invent one: Thanksalicious! Everyone at Doctor Noize Inc. would also like to thank Christian Lowe for being our original illustrator. Christian’s illustrations have brought joy and curiosity to many children, including my own. And finally…

(5) Thank YOU Noizemakers!

Without you, none of this would’ve happened. You’ve all helped build this success. I’m grateful to you, I’m grateful to Dave Kim and Outblaze for the commitment they’ve made to expanding Doctor Noize with me, and I take the faith you’ve all placed in me very seriously. (Seriously is a relative word in my case…) I will honor this opportunity by endeavoring to prove you right, and I hope to be rolling into a city near you in the next year. Contact us if you’d like to be a Very Important Noizemaker — regional Noizemaker leaders who rally the troops and take part in great fun thingz in return. Here’s to the future!

Thanks from yer buddy for life,
Doctor Noize

P.S. The great irony of this year’s April Fool’s Noizeletter was that the deal above was already well under way, and the real story is way better than my fictional iPad story was… but I couldn’t publicize the information yet.

HONG KONG OPERATIONS
David Kim: Executive Director
Benjamin Yiu: Project & Business Manager
Chun Yan Miu: Lead Animator & Art Director
Dream Cortex: Animation & Game Production

Welcome to the June Noizeletter! I’m all over the place this month. On to the Top Five Noizy Thingz…

(1) New National Booking Agent!

I have a new national Booking Secret Agent and she rocks. Her name is Lisa Shara and she can’t stop booking shows for me. Actually, it’s getting kind of annoying. For example, I am currently playing 16 shows in 4 states in a 30 day span, and then I head to CA for more shows. Lisa!!! Don’t you know I have a World Cup to watch??? You’re totally screwing up my soccer watching schedule, Lisa. In her “spare time,” Lisa is also the Editor of North State Parent Magazine. So Lisa’s kind of a slacker, like the rest of the Noize crew. To book all eventz from now on, contact Lisa at lisa@doctornoize.com or 530-926-5232. Or you could just send her an email about how much you love the Canadian prog-rock band Rush. She will love you for it. (Lisa is one of approximately 127 females on the planet who love Rush. By contrast, approximately 37,564,127 males on the planet love Rush.) Welcome aboard Lisa!

(2) Multi-State Tour… And Beyond!

(Not to be confused with “To infinity… and beyond!”) Toy Story 3 is great, by the way — go see it. And no matter what my three babes might tell you (two action/adventure superhero daughters + their überbabe muy fresca mamacita caliente), Dr. Noize did not cry twice during the last twenty minutes of Toy Story 3 when Andy goes off to college. Honestly, I’m much more of a man than that. I just had, um, some popcorn stuck in my eyeball or something. I did, however, inform my daughters after the film that if they grow any more, they’re grounded for life. That should do it. Anyway… I was in Wisconsin last week, I’ll be in Indianapolis at the world’s largest children’s museum this week, I play shows in Utah and Colorado the weeks after that, and then I’ll be in Northern CA. Check the Showz schedule and come join the musical party.

(3) Doctor Noize On IMAX!

Check this out: A few weeks back I played a show in an IMAX theater. This was, in and of itself, cool. The show was my monthly Giving Back charity show — in this case, it was for a group of fantastic preschools. In any event… During the show, we broadcast the Welcome To Grammaropolis video on the IMAX screen. It was BTA (Big Time Awesome). (That’s a new acronym I just invented; it is not trademarked at this time. Feel free to use it — also known as FFTUI.) The Grammaropolis single had a great run of several months on the national chart, which impacts my next story…

(4) Everybuddy In Whitewater, WI Is Noizemaker Of The Month!

That’s right, the entire citizenry of Whitewater, WI is Noizemaker Of The Month. Why? I’m glad you asked. I played shows in Wisconsin last week, and one of them was in Whitewater, because an old Stanford buddy lives there. It was probably the “farthest off the beaten path” I’ve ever played. I arrived at Whitewater with two stoopid misconceptions: (1) People in farm country in the outskirts of WI do not listen to satellite radio; (2) Those same people have certainly never heard of Dr. Noize. Well Noizemakers, this won’t be the first or last time you learn that I’m a bonehead. The show in Whitewater was a blast, and the people are amazing. Look at these kids up dancing with me onstage. Perhaps my fave moment: A family living in the rural area outside Whitewater demonstrated in great detail how even mom and dad know all the words to Welcome To Grammaropolis, courtesy of Sirius XM Kids Place Live radio, of which they are huge fans. The Mom had lots of ideas about how the song should be performed live — good ideas, too. I’ve been invited to return to Whitewater very soon, and a wise man never misses a chance to party with fun people.

(5) USA! USA! USA!

I know this Noizeletter is supposed to be dedicated to Dr. Noize news, but the whole Noize team loves soccer and therefore, by the transitive properties of (some sort of transitive properties), the World Cup is Dr. Noize news. Besides, watching the World Cup this year is like attending an amateur band concert where everyone has the same cheap plastic trumpet, half of them are inebriated, and they all play a single static pitch blasted for 90 minutes (plus stoppage time). It’s very John Cage. This hilariously barely-tolerable instrument is know in South Africa as the vuvuzela, and known to the rest of the world as “that never-ending drone that’s even worse than a Hasselhoff album” (except in Germany, where they like that sort of thing). But on to my call to action: All Noizemakers must watch the US play its pivotal Cup match versus Algeria tomorrow morning. Thank you for your attention to this matter. I will be wearing my Official US Jersey the Noizelets gave me for Father’s Day, and the girls and I are getting up early to go watch it on Webmaster Weldon‘s big screen. (Webmaster Weldon is the kind of guy who has things like big screens.)

Thanks from yer buddy for life,
Doctor Noize

P.S. Finally, after much discussion with co-coach Webmaster Weldon, here are The Doctor Noize Starting 11 for tomorrow’s match, because you wanted to know: Howard, Bocanegra, Hobbling Gooch (better than No Gooch), DeMerit, Cherundulo, Donovan, Bradley, Edu, Dempseydinho, Altidore, Cullinan. At halftime we sub Buddle in for Cullinan so Cullinan can kick back, eat five hot dogs with heavy mustard and watch the game. At 60 minutes we super-sub (note to Dr. Noize’s English-teaching mother: that is a verb in this case) Gomez to win the game in the 85th minute in dramatic fashion. Then it’s on to the next round. Thank you for playing and have a nice day.

¡Bienvenido al Noizeletter de mayo! (If you can read that and you live in Arizona, don’t go out to the state-sponsored Cinco de Mayo celebration today. It could, um, be your last American fiesta… That’s just a little strategic tip from your buddy for life, Dr. Noize. De nada, amigos…) On to the Top Five Noizy Thingz…

(1) “Welcome To Grammaropolis” Is A Top 10 National Hit!

My new single, Welcome To Grammaropolis, has climbed into the Top Ten of the Sirius XM Kids Place Live! National Airplay Chart. My last single, Banana, went all the way to #1 on the chart — some of you even heard an orchestral version of it premiered last year. In other words, I don’t release singles; I release mega-singles. (The only difference is the “mega-” prefix, but do not underestimate the power of the mega-prefix. Thank you for your attention to this matter.) If you are a serious Sirius XM listener (thank you, thank you very much) and would like to hear the song, request it! But if you are not a serious Sirius XM listener, don’t contact them to request it. Wanna know why? Here’s why…

(2) Noizemakers Get Totally Busted By Sirius XM Radio!

Several weeks back, Noizemakers nationwide began emailing me to say they were hearing Welcome To Grammaropolis on Sirius XM. Awesome. So I sent a test email to about 1/3 of the Noizeletter list asking them to request the song. Several days later I got an email from Kids Place Live! radio. To paraphrase, it said:

“Dear Dr. Noize, we love the Grammaropolis song and will happily keep playing it on our radio station if you will call off the dogs and ask your fans to stop requesting it every two seconds, particularly the ones who clearly do not even listen to our station. PS we love the floating grammas section.”

Now, this story warms my heart in so many ways: (1) I love the floating grammas section too (if you’ve heard it, you know); (2) You Noizemakers sure know how to make a ruckus when a ruckus is requested; and (3) the folks at XM Sirius are so great to play our song even when we drive ‘em crazy. I’m gettin’ weepy just thinking about all the love that’s flying around. On to more Sirius business (thank you again), like…

(3) Download The Hit Single For Just 99 Cents!

You can now download Welcome To Grammaropolis to your MP3 player for just 99 cents online. ’99 cents?!?’ you say to yourself — ‘That’s less than a dollar!’ (That’s right, I can hear what you’re thinking. It’s a bit creepy for both of us, trust me.) On the flip side, it’s more than a quarter. And don’t try to fit a quarter into the slot on your laptop to hear it — that won’t work, grandpa. And remember, you can only hear the famed floating grammas section in the single version — it was too hot for the video! And let’s be honest, the video‘s pretty hot right now.

(4) Sold Out Show At Palo Alto Children’s Theatre!

Last month I played a sold out, standing-room-only show at the Palo Alto Children’s Theatre. It was just like the Beatles’ last American tour, except the venue is actually much smaller than the venues they played and therefore it was actually nothing like the Beatles’ last American tour. Still, during the show, the lighting guy was flashing the lights in tempo at the “Chomp!” section of Don’t Be Silly, and that was chomping fantastic. I will definitely be back to perform at PACT in the future. Maybe I’ll see you there. Or not, if you live in Madison or something. Unless, of course, you fly in to see the show. Which you don’t need to, because I’m playing a few shows near Madison next month. I feel like my focus is wandering a bit.

(5) Dayton Voorhees Is Noizemaker Of The Month!

Dayton Voorhees (3 1/2) is Noizemaker Of The Month! Dayton’s dad, Coert, is founder ‘n Mayor of Grammoropolis. See here for yourself here that Dayton is Grammeropolis Cheif Of Police. So thats alot of pressure to be real good like at grammer and stuff; but Dayton can handle it. Like last month he said to his dad; ‘Go over there.’ And his dad was all: ‘Why.’ And Dayton was like ‘Because I’m the adverb, and I get to tell you where to go and how to act.’ And if the Mayor of Grammaropolis hadn’t of did it, him would’ve got him throwed in the slammer. That’s a badge and Dayton’s prepared to use it. (I worked hardly to make my grammer as badly as possible on this paragraph to done gone driven the Mayor of Grammaropolis crazily.) Congrat’s Dayton!

Thanks from yer buddy for life,

Doctor Noize

PS Have you seen the other videos and games at the Grammaropolis website?
PPS Next month I will be opening up Doctor Noize to exciting franchise cloning opportunities. Or not.